


Do Not Wait

by littlewitchlover



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Gen, I have no clue why I wrote this, I’m sorry, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25156216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewitchlover/pseuds/littlewitchlover
Summary: Benny didn’t notice that his best friend wasn’t doing well until it was too late.
Relationships: Benny Weir/Ethan Morgan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Do Not Wait

**Author's Note:**

> ***SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING*** (it’s not explicit, just referenced)  
> Song is Do Not Wait by Wallows

“Benny Weir would like to dedicate this next song to Ethan Morgan. May he Rest In Peace.”

_ You will say you're dreaming up a way _

_ You're dreaming up a way to explode _

You always liked to challenge yourself to be better, which is a nice way of saying that you were really hard on yourself. Part of me thought it was a good thing. I thought it meant you were a hard worker. You were always smarter than me after all. 

_ There's a time you'll seek out a disguise _

_ When you think people hate you the most _

I never hated you. I hope you realize that. Sure, there were some bigoted people out there who weren’t the biggest fan of your identity, but I cared about you. Why couldn’t you have just focused on that? On how your friends loved you? (And for the record, if the school hadn’t threatened to expel me, I would’ve beaten up a lot more of those assholes.)

_ And it gets worse before it gets better _

_ That's one thing that I have come to know _

_ Just so you know _

I’ve been through some tough shit too, yet I couldn’t even recognize that my own best friend...that you…

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

I’m sorry I wasn’t there. 

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

I’m so, so sorry Ethan. 

_ All the things you don't wanna let go _

_ You wanna look back on and recall _

Remember that old arcade we used to go to in middle school, the one that got shut down? Life was way simpler back then, huh? No supernatural beings or dumb teen romance. I miss that. I miss you. 

_ All the times that feel like everything _

_ When nothing really happens at all _

It’s so boring without you. I miss you so much. We all do. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. 

_ They're still here _

_ Oh, in that important room _

Your room is still the way you left it. For a while I was too scared to even look at your house, but now I visit your room almost everyday. I sometimes like to pretend that you're still there. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I may or may not have fallen asleep in your bed a couple times. I hope you don’t mind. 

_ We've got your pictures up on the wall _

_ Up on the wall _

Your parents miss you. Everyone at school misses you. I’ve made sure that no one’s forgotten you. There’s an entire page in the yearbook that’s just a picture of you. I look at that page a lot. 

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

I’m sorry. 

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

Fuck. I’m so, so sorry Ethan. I can’t say it enough.

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

Part of me feels like it’s my fault for not realizing sooner. That I could’ve stopped you somehow. 

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

I wasn’t there for you, and now you’re gone forever. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. I love you. Fuck. It hurts so badly. I want you back.

_ Break a promise to your ex _

_ (Nothing happens) _

I want you back. Why can’t you come back? If a fuckface vampire like Jesse can do it why can’t you? You’re able to see ghosts for crying out loud! Doesn’t that mean you should be able to turn into one or some shit? Come back! 

_ You are terrified of sex _

_ (Nothing happens) _

There are so many things you’ve missed out on. That we’ve missed out on. Why did you have to go so soon?

_ The first time is humiliating _

_ (Nothing happens) _

It feels like it’s been years and years since you died. I don’t actually know how long it’s been. I haven’t bothered to keep track. 

_ Something you'll want to forget _

_ (Nothing happens) _

I won’t forget you. No matter what. I won’t let our undead friends forget either. You’ll live forever in our hearts. I swear. 

_ Your parents will eventually separate _

_ (Nothing happens) _

Have I mentioned how much your family misses you? Especially Jane. Your parents don’t even go on date nights anymore. 

_ Dad's stuff in trash bags and in the pool _

_ (Nothing happens) _

It’s been rough for all of us. Not to guilt trip you or anything. Fucker. 

_ Oh guess what? You have a sister now _

_ (Nothing happens) _

Your sister goes to a different school now. All the kids at school constantly reminding her that her older brother killed himself didn’t help anything. 

_ And as you go on and shit gets hard, don't worry about me _

There’s an afterlife, right? I’ll see you there someday, won’t I? I hope you’re in a better place now.

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

_ (You're ready and you know it) _

Maybe I’ll be there sooner than you think.

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

_ (Something you'll always remember) _

I’ve tried a bunch of different rituals and spells to bring you back, but none of them worked. Grandma says that the grief ruined my magic, but I don’t believe her. I’m determined to find something that’ll work.

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

_ (Your parents will end up where they belong) _

We’ll all be fine without you eventually, I guess. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I’m fine.

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

_ (They'll eventually talk again, though) _

I can’t wait to see you again Ethan. 

_ Do not wait, do not wait, do not wait _

_ (And guess what? She's obsessed with you) _

Did I ever mention how obsessed I was with you? You were always more than just a best friend to me. I know you preferred Sarah and you would never actually go out with me, but part of me had always hoped…

_ I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there _

_ (When shit gets hard, don't worry about me) _

I love you Ethan Morgan. I love you I love you I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it when you were alive. 

_ Oh _

_ Oh _

_ Oh _


End file.
